Vance has you....

...Vance has you...

Wake up Neo...
...Vance's Sanity has you...
...Follow the white rabbit....
...Knock Knock , Neo...
I AM THE ONE!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

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One person happy is better than two people feeling agony.

What's left? The liberation of man kind...?4:52 AM

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

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My interest in X Japan, a visually alternative band in Japan perhaps hints on my dual-persona. Flamboyant but yet at the same time can be at times so casual it scares people. The social norm forces people to conform to a certain way but like many i yearn to break out of my shell. Vanity is evident but i am still one who hates to take pictures of myself. I love to use words to describe my thoughts my feelings and my opinions. Loves to write but loathe the effort to type hence the lack of updates on my blog. Mistaken and misunderstood by many. Till today I am still thought to be the promiscuous person that blazes a trail everywhere I go. The things I would love to do is just for someone to lean back with me to watch the cars and people go by, to kiss the falling rain, to lay under the morning sun, to sip coffee, to share my deepest thoughts and intimate details, to discuss everything, to argue about views, to accept each other's views, to respect each other's style, to go wild, to laze in subtility, to stay forever young, to grow old, to witness birth of life, to attend funerals, to talk till the early hours, to walk till the last minutes of the world.
Perhaps sometimes I tend to want to have a true friend too much that I am often left disappointed. The way the world goes and from experiences I am left to be choosy over who to open up to and who to really trust. Sometimes sincerity counts for nothing but I always wish to believe that one day it will bring me people who are true and loyal. As someone said, 'One do not have to be surrounded by friends, but the company of one true friend is enough.' I live my life with this as my motto. People can say what they want or think what they want about me but without that streak of self-righteousness and beliefs then would it make Vance anymore likeable? Or would it make Vance any less the colorful personality he is? I'd rather take my chances.

What's left? The liberation of man kind...?5:21 AM

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Everyone has something to do every night before they sleep. Some gets some reading done, some take a smoke, others go for a drink, I have to speak to you. Do you really think it's enjoyable to sleep fucking late every night? To only tire myself out before sunrise just so I can fall asleep?

I don't want to forget you, even as much as it means to forget the anger and hurt, I rather keep those than to abandon the memories we shared.

Every night you're on my mind, everything I see in Bintan is about you. All you could ever say is, your friends keep you happy. Why do you always come to me when in times of trouble and your friends always get to see you when you're happy? Do you ever think you'll feel happy if the only times you meet me is when you're either high or in trouble, or when you're troubled with work?

Today I almost teared while listening to a song cos it's so true. I work hard to smile even though I am crying. I don't want to forget you, I rather remember all the hurt.

I am never in the position to say anything then, less so now. As I wait for the sunrise everyday, I just hope that each day to hear from you. Still love me? I really don't know. I can only pray and reminicse about all that could have been.

What's left? The liberation of man kind...?3:51 AM